Is There Nepotism at Milton?

By SERENA FERNANDOPULLE ‘19 and KATHRYN FERNANDOPULLE ‘21

All of the Fernandopulle sisters always say that Kathryn, the youngest sibling, is the most spoiled. Our parents clearly give her the most leeway. Similarly at Milton, we always joke that Kathryn is given more opportunities due to our paving the way for her to excel at Milton.

I, Kathryn, would like to think that I have gained everything due to my hardwork and merit, but to a certain extent, having older siblings really has helped me at Milton.

Nepotism is when your family or friends favor you or provide you with better opportunities than another person pursuing the same goal. We know what you might be thinking, but no, nepotism is not just the name of the episode of “The Office” from season 7.

A couple of weeks ago, I, Kathryn, was talking with some of my peers, and the topic of nepotism came up. Suddenly, one of my friends said to me, “you only get things at this school because of your sisters.” I was not only hurt by this comment, but I was also baffled. My friend went on to say, “you do the same things as they do and you only join clubs and teams because your sister lets you on.” After thinking about this comment for a while, I realized it was true. I do the same things as my sisters: the same clubs and the same sports. However, I never considered the possibility that the only reason I got onto those teams and clubs was because my sisters let me on. After more thought, I came to the conclusion that I definitely was a benefactor of nepotism. However, even though I believe that having my sister at Milton Academy gives me an edge, I also believe that I have rightfully earned my spot here.

Looking around at my community, we can see that there are so many kids in our grades who have older siblings who go or went to Milton. Based on the impression the older sibling made on the teachers and students here, the younger sibling comes in with premade judgements about her. In our experiences, our sisters have helped us rather than hinder. I, Serena, have had many of the same teachers that my older sister, Gabrielle, has had. It is a common experience to reference my sister sometimes with these teachers because these subjects are our common ground. Sometimes teachers will say how we “look so alike,” sometimes they will ask me how she is liking college, and sometimes they even call me “Gabrielle” by mistake. None of these incidences bother me in the slightest because I like talking about my sister, but I know that it may seem that I am “showing off.” In a way, I held the privilege of having positive preconceived assumptions about me because of my sister’s past experiences. Having this extra benefit of the doubt helps us, the younger of the three Fernandopulle sisters, because if we do make a mistake, our teacher may give us more room to grow because they have seen the older sibling’s potential and believe that we can achieve the same amount. However, this is also a double edged sword. In many areas of our life, the bar is set high by our older sibling. Thus, if we don’t achieve to the same level or higher, we are judged as “not as good” as our sibling, or a let-down.

For me, Kathryn, playing the same sports as my siblings has really helped me at Milton. For instance, in eighth grade, I tried out for the girls high school varsity team, and I ended up making the team. However, I definitely was not a clear front-runner for the team, especially seeing as I was not as skilled back then and was not as tall as I am now. Having my oldest sister, Gabrielle, as the captain that year really increased my odds at making the team. I would like to think that I made the team because my coach saw potential and skill in me. However, having both of my sisters on the team probably helped me. As a result, when I made it onto the girls varsity soccer team my freshman fall, I was scared that I only made it because of my sisters. To my surprise, I ended up being a starter that year. Having a sister on the soccer team was not the reason why I made it; it was just an added bonus.

People always tell us that we three sisters look identical. Almost all of our teachers, coaches, and peers have called us the wrong name at least once. Indeed, this subconscious bias to lump us in the same bucket bleeds into the rest of our lives. This bias has helped us in some situations and also made us feel like failures in others. We both acknowledge that we would definitely not be where we are if not for our sisters. Nepotism at Milton is definitely present, and at times it has made us question if we really deserved the results we got in classes, extracurriculars, and even sports. Nepotism also is ingrained not only in Milton’s systems of making a varsity team, but also subconsciously in how we are treated by others. We don’t know how or if we should change the system, but we do know it definitely has shaped our experience at Milton.