Politics Has Become a Replacement for Personality

By Alissa Rabin ’29

Nowadays, politics seems to be at the forefront of first impressions in friendships, and some students say that opposing political views cannot be overlooked. When asked if people judge each other too quickly based solely on their political views, Peter Geroukos ’29 says, “I think they do judge each other, but it’s valid. Your political views are very much based on your morality and who you are as a person.” People display an inherent judgment and an automatic curiosity about someone’s political views upon meeting them, and the assumptions made indicate what kind of person they are. In a poll of one hundred Milton students, most respondents said political views reveal a great deal about a person’s character: 67% chose either “4” or “5” on a 1-5 scale. This figure reflects Geroukos’s point about the widespread correlation between personal morality and political beliefs. 31% of respondents scored political agreement in their friendships a “3”, and the statistic for the importance of familial political agreement was fairly similar, with 27% answering a “3”. However, when asked about romantic relationships, 34% said “4” and 34% said “5.” This gap points to a clear difference in students’ outlooks on romantic relationships versus familial or platonic ones.

While everyone has the right to choose which relationships to maintain and which to break off, conflicting politics should not inherently stand in the way of friendship. Life may seem easier when you surround yourself with people who are exactly the same as you in every aspect, but doing so prevents you from forming a well-rounded view of the world. According to Milton’s mission statement, the school values diversity in hopes of creating a student body that is somewhat representative of the outside world. This should go for political views as well. Last year’s State of the Acad data revealed that roughly 9.7% of Milton students lean conservative, which is not at all reflective of the split within the US in 2024, with 37% identifying as conservative, and more recent sources suggesting 46% leaning Republican and 45% leaning Democrat as of 2025. In my survey, 50% of the students who filled it out said that they have avoided getting close to someone due to a potential clash of political views, and 52% said that clubs, classes, social spaces, or teams have felt less open to them due to politics. Clearly, politics is not discussed nearly enough, especially when considering its impacts on the student body’s social dynamics. Avoiding someone due to fear of political discourse without even experiencing it first or getting to know the person for their other qualities can be damaging in the long run, not only at Milton or as a high school student, but for the rest of your life.

However, it is important to highlight that people should set healthy boundaries within relationships, whether regarding politics or not. Geroukos says, “I think at a base level they [politics and personality] can be separated, but at a certain point of friendship, politics will always influence my relationships.” If you have opposing views on human rights or a set of basic beliefs you are not willing to look past, you should probably trust your gut and end that relationship. However, if you find yourself swearing off anyone with a slight difference of opinion without hearing why they believe what they do, you stand only to harm yourself. When asked about when putting politics over personality becomes unhealthy, Geroukos added, “It stops being healthy when it comes to when you just can’t listen to anybody that doesn’t agree with you.”

You lose so much when you neglect the skill of experiencing people who are different from you. Learning not to treat disagreement as a danger makes you more flexible, mature, well-adjusted, not to mention better able to live in a world that often does not validate your own assumptions. When you cannot be genuinely curious about people’s lived experiences and the beliefs those experiences have shaped, you weaken your own capacity for tolerance, understanding, and growth. So, for the sake of making genuine, below-the-surface level friendships, a broader world view, and a more cohesive society, don’t build walls where bridges are possible.