Biases in the Judgement of Siblings

By KATHRYN FERNANDOPOULLE ‘21

Your sibling’s reputation follows you around just like a shadow, essentially creating your first impression on teachers and peers. Whether it’s a teacher’s preconceived notion of your academic standing or a peer’s assumption that you’ll join a club, younger siblings are always held to a certain standard. In the Milton Academy community, there are so many students with older siblings who have also attended Milton. No matter how different you and your sibling are, teachers and peers make subconscious judgments about you before you even enter the school. I grew up with two high achieving older sisters who paved the way for me. My sisters showed me how to succeed and how to work hard. Attending school with my sisters never came as a burden for me - until high school. The worst part of a sibling’s reputation is not how peers treat you but how your teachers treat you.

There are many upsides to going to school with your sibling, but the biggest downside is the fact that teachers automatically see you and your sibling as one. For instance, my eldest sister, Gabrielle, who graduated in 2017, was passionate about and excelled in science. When I came into Milton my freshman year, I had no idea what my niche was. When I walked into my physics class, my teacher informed me that he had taught Gabrielle years ago, and he was excited to teach me too. At the beginning of the year, it was clear that he assumed I would excel in physics simply because Gabrielle had; however, I soon realized that physics was not my calling and my teacher had over-estimated my potential. I was still a good student, just not an amazing one like my older sister. I felt like I had disappointed my teacher, not because I did anything wrong, but simply because I did not share the same passions as my sister.. 

I’m sure everyone who has an older sibling experiences false judgement from others in one way or another. Whether a teacher or peer assumes you will join a club, make a sports team, excel or fail in a class, these preconceived notions are the result of the reputation built by your siblings. I genuinely believe that I would have had a very different Milton experience if I had a blank slate to create my own narrative. Teachers must work to give students equal opportunities and evaluations regardless of their background or family. This subconscious lumping of siblings into the same bucket perforates into the rest of their lives. If someone doesn't achieve the same level or higher as their older sibling, he or she is looked upon as inferior to their older sibling, and the teachers at our school unhealthily feed into those assumptions. 

With graduation and closing ceremonies upon us, it’s important to look back and be proud of all you have accomplished at Milton. When reminiscing, rather than worry about whether you lived up to your sibling’s reputation, you should remember your own accomplishments that were never hindered by unrealistic expectations and biased opinions.