Get a Room! - Volume 7, Number 16

By David J.

Don’t cha just hate it? You’re having an o.k. day...not a care in the world. You’re skipping down the hallway in Ware looking oh so cute and then, you turn the corner towards Goodwin, enter, and find yourself admitted to the all day Milton Academy showing of PDA. Those of you who don’t know what PDA stands for and those of you who object to it obviously aren’t getting any. It is after careful consideration of your feelings, however, that I decided to use my last opinion article to confront the topic of Public Display of Affection. 

There are in fact a surprising number of couples at Milton this year. And at Milton, love knows no bounds. Different classes date each other and with the difference in their schedules, some of this bottled affection unfortunately spills out (if you’ll excuse the expression) into Goodwin. Yes, it used to be that some jerk that was playing the piano in Goodwin was all that bothered people trying to maintain a decent average at Milton… but now of course it’s the PDA abusers. 

While I do understand how some, I don’t want to say less fortunate...yeah I do… less fortunate people might anger at the sight of this open display of the knowledge learned in Human Sexuality and Relationships, I do feel that some fail to utilize all that the spectator has to gain from the Milton Love Boat we like to call Goodwin Room. As big, funny guy Seth Reynolds so eloquently put it, “I get so far behind on the gossip, I just check who’s touching each other.” Yes, it is true. PDA does compensate for people like me who are not always on top of the social scene. There are two warnings about the PDA test. First, the PDA test can only determine if a couple is going out. Some couples avoid PDA in early stages of their relationship so conclusions that they are “just friends” are often incorrect. Secondly, and perhaps more important, be sure not to confuse PDA (a sign of a dating couple) with touchy-feely (a sign of an insecure individual). One sure way to differentiate the two is to realize that PDA is a mutual act while someone being touchy-feeling usually only involves willingness to participate on the part of the instigator and an expression of disgust on the part of the person being touched. 

So the next time you’re in Goodwin and you see all those PDA folks, don’t respond in your usual manner. Rather consider socially all that you have to gain and just be happy you’re alive. But remember, while PDA in groups of three is tolerated it will not be tolerated for the individual unless he or she has permission from home. Thanks for this year and for allowing me to ramble at times. I’ve said all I have to say, so I’ll be quiet now!